Geek women are often hindered by social expectations requiring traditional female social roles from them. These social expectations can be impsoed from within and without.
Not only are these social expectations not necessarily a good fit for all women, they are also time consuming and paradoxically, assigned low importance and value compared to, for example, coding in Open Source communities. They lead to pigeonholing of women. Geek feminism seeks to both increase the value of these roles, and to free them from assumptions that they will be performed exclusively by women, or that any individual women is going to perform them.
Role in communities
Geek women may be expected or required to perform the following social roles in communities they're part of:
- dispute resolution
- emotional support
- provision of relationship advice
- enforcement of mainstream social norms
The expectation to enforce mainstream social norms may arise from inside or outside the geek community, and lead to women being accused of political correctness whenever they make any complaint or perceived complaint about anti-feminist behaviour.
Role in heterosexual geek relationships
Geek women in relationships with geek men are often viewed as an assistant to their male partner in some fashion. For example, they are often expected to act as an intermediary for correspondence with a tardy geek partner, and to act as supplicants to him on behalf of people needing a favour:
- Telsa Gwynne has a section of her webpage devoted to explaining that she will not ferry correspondence to and from her husband: "Q. So, how's Alan? Can you ask him or tell him...? A: No. No, I can't. I hate to sound petty about this but I am not his relay service. If you want to get something to Alan, send it to him." Occasionally Asked Questions
- Dorothea Salo announced in 2009 that she would not forward email to her husband any more: "I have a gmail address... It’s mine. My address. It’s not my husband’s, okay?... Stop sending me requests addressed to him for translations of things into Sindarin..." For the record
They also commonly experience condescension in which their geeky interests are assumed to be due to or secondary to that of their partner.