"The patriarchy hurts men too" is a set of silencing or derailing tactics in feminist discussions. Forms can include, but aren't limited to doing these in a discussion about women's experiences or oppression:
- pointing out that not all men benefit equally from the patriarchy (see Geeks are oppressed)
- pointing out that performing masculinity can be difficult (being expected to be a romantic or sexual aggressor) or dangerous (being expected to be able to physically fight, being physically bullied)
- pointing out that sexual violence happens to men too
All of these things are true, and they should be discussed, but insisting that men's problems be acknowledged or centred in feminist discussions is a derailing tactic. Men are, as a class, the group advantaged by the patriarchy, and thus spaces discussing the experiences of women and non-binary gendered people are comparatively rare.
Rather than derailing conversations about and between women, men who want to discuss male identity, masculinity and the patriarchy need to create new discussions in spaces that aren't marked as women-centred.
This tactic is sufficiently well known that the acronym is sometimes used to identify it: PHMT.